i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
