Its about making memories worth repressing
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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