Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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