How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize