found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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