quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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