glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
