i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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