Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
