All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
