Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
this will be a night to untag.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
