is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
