IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
