fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
