She went from zero to smokin in five shots
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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