we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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