Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
