dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
