A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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