Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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