Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
