I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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