So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
someone owes me an orgasm
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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