her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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