i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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