i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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