If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
