If i come over, it means nothing
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
