You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
