just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
