just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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