May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
