my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize