So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize