So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You smell like a Billy Joel song
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize