i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
