you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
