WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
