I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
