I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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