Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
