You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
