Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
