around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she told me i tasted like america
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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