He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
