well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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