a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize