We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
