He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
