You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
