dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
