so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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