My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
