There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
