Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
