Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
