Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
