I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
