Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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